Here is a story to warm the cockles of your heart (or not)
Once upon a time there was a young maiden living the life on Mi-Sol Park. Everything was great until one day the young (well youngish) maiden (well maidenish) arose from her bed and was assailed by the most terrible smell!....."What on earth" (or words to that effect) she said. Holding her nose on high, she wandered the length and breadth of her home looking hither the thither for the terrible smell, eventually the stench was tracked down to a hole in the road outside her home. (This was designated a drain in a very loose way-no pun intended). Just as she was about to give in to despair, a knight in shining armour appeared (her paramour)..."what's to do love," he asked with great concern and a weird accent. "It's the smell, the smell" she cried "can you not smell it"........"Well, yes now you mention it, there is a bit of a pong." he agreed. The youngish maiden explained to her ' luuvvver' that the smell was escaping from a hole (drain) in the road. "Don't worry, my darling" he purred "I shall close that there hole (drain) for good and for ever". He then proceeded to replace the drain cover and for good measure got the old cement mixer out, made a mix and laid it over the drain cover so as his beloved would never ever have to see or smell that terrible drain again.
Now you may think that that is the end of the story, but, you would be wrong.....fast forward two years and the story continues. Once again the terrible stench came back to haunt the residents of circle I. They huddled and muttered, searched and sniffed all to no avail. It seemed to come from here, it seemed to come from there....did it have a name? Eventually our esteemed treasurer called on the services of an outside force....(may the force with you and all smells evaporate) the local drain experts arrived with the biggest hose pipe in the whole world. He shoved it, with all his might, down a drain that had been pointed out to him by the resident rodder. His mate turned on the water full blast ........ everyone stood back ....... and then, the concrete, so loving laid two years earlier and the manhole cover blew apart scattering debris far and wide. The residents were in shock, before they could recover their wits, before the debris had hit the ground, a fountain of s**t appeared-20ft high. It just missed the Town Hall helicopter who immediately dropped a denoucia on the top of the fountain.....You haven't got planning permission they screamed in Spanish (you thought they spoke English didn't you?....wrong) The residents on the ground screamed and tried to get into the air raid shelter....we haven't got one, they cried...What sort of Park is this...No air air raid shelter what will we do if Gaddiff arrives....the committee had no answer for that!!!
This incident poses many questions for Mi-Sol Park,
Firstly.......what was a helicopter doing circling the Park......were they seaching for our missing committee??
Secondly....If circle I had wanted a fountain of s**t , why didn't they just ask for one, there is plenty to go round on Mi-Sol.
Thirdly. Will the drains ever be repaired properly so that the stink is trapped? Dream on
and last but not least,
will our maiden and her knight in shining armour live happily ever after.......... ......Well, what do you think?
The End
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS any resemblance to real people is entirely coincidental (or not!!!)
Now....on another note (sorry if this offends anyone) (or not)
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand..
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized
'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak...'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily,and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
No comments:
Post a Comment